A Friend’s Grief Just Begins after the Services

Your caring touch will be needed for a long time.

So it may have been several weeks or months since you stood by the side of your friend at the funeral or services of someone they loved dearly.  While life has gone on somewhat normally for you, it hasn’t been the same for your friend. On the outside, he or she might appear to be “handling it” well.  But I need you to know that inside, they think of their loved one multiple times in EVERY 24 hour period ~ sometimes constantly.  And with those thoughts come emotions that run the range from tears to anger, sadness to a happy memory, regret and guilt to despair.  So if you want to be a friend who cares for their grieving heart, remember that it is still grieving.

Comfort for a Grieving Friend’s Heart

Here are a few ideas that could help you approach the subject of your friend’s grief.  This is not a sequence list, just random suggestions for coming closer to your friend rather than isolating them in their pain and sorrow.

  • Tell them you wonder how their grief is going
  • Ask if they want to talk about it
  • Assure them that whatever emotions they might be experiencing it is part of grieving
  • Ask them to share a memory
  • Ask to share one of your memories of the person who died
  • Make a point of sending cards, texts, or flowers on significant days such as birthday, anniversary, and holidays
  • Show them that you are safe for them to be themselves by listening more than speaking and sharing their tears rather than handing them a tissue
  • Ask if they would like some grief resources that could help them understand their own grief and guide them through this difficult time
  • Keep cmfortfortheday.com as one of those resources to share with them

“The only cure for grief is to grieve.” 

Earl Grollman

Because the above quote is true, it is critical for us to support our friends to grieve, even though it is painful.  However, we are to come along side of them not to provoke or prevent their suffering, but to support them through it.  May the Spirit of Comfort guide you as you stay close to your grieving friend.

© Karen Nicola May 2017

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