A Griever’s New Year

sinking shipSo the holidays are over. Life is getting back into the old “normal.”  Your heart might still be trying to navigate the swells of grief that ebb and flow.  Possibly ,the sea of grief still overtakes you.

Logical Bench Mark

A new year is a logical bench mark to evaluate your grief journey.  Would a few self-evaluation questions assist you, my grieving friend? If any of these questions don’t work for you right now, just skip them and work with the ones that are useful in your healing process.

  1. How have my needs changed since the death of ________________?
  2. What changes do I recognize in myself that causes me worry or concern?
  3. What adjustments or changes have been positive?
  4. What is my energy level compared to my first few weeks of bereavement?
  5. Do I need to make some choices that would promote my physical health?
  6. Have I reached out to find a counselor or grief coach that can provide some guidance for me? If not why? Are there any steps I need to take to add this resource to my healing?
  7. How willing am I to educate myself about the grief experience? Would I be willing to do some research for books or web sites that could help me?   1
  8. Where are my thoughts about God right now? Do I find myself trusting Him with my pain, anger, sadness, loneliness, guilt, regrets, etc?  Why?  Am I open to be comforted with the promises of Scripture that assures me of His presence, care, and healing?   2
  9. What new things do I want to try this year?
  10. Am I willing to release my grief, so I can embrace a new and fulfilling life? (This question is not meant for any readers who have recently had a loved one die—not that there is an expected schedule, because everyone works within their own grief time line—it just might not apply to a reader who has had a recent loss.

Regaining Control

Your bereavement is unique to you.  The above questions are meant to give you a platform to look at your grief journey and evaluate where you have been, what you have come through, and where you still want or need to go from here.  A huge part of grieving is the sense of losing control.  I want to support you towards regaining personal control.  By acting in positive ways to your responses to the above questions, you are choosing  to heal so your bereavement doesn’t control you.

Trusting God’s Help

While the sea of emotions might toss your ship about recklessly, you still maintain the helm with the power of choice.  If you have fallen and can’t reach the tiller, reach out to God, who is doing for you right now what you can’t do for yourself.  Please consider putting your trust in him completely.  You are loved, known, understood and helped by the One who has all authority to step in and declare, “Peace, be still!”  He is the only One who can quiet the storm and help you regain personal control.

New Year Prayer

My heartfelt prayer for each of us is that we begin the New Year with God at the helm, trusting Him more than we trust ourselves:  yet grateful that he honors our freedom of choice to submit to His wisdom and care.


  1. Consider buying Comfort for the Day
  2. Page 149 in Comfort for the Day is a list of Scripture verses selected specific to the grief experience.


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